Sefer Hashidduchim

There was a bochur, who came from a non-Lubavitcher chassidisher family, who started becoming attracted to Lubavitch and Chabad Chassidus, and gradually started adapting Lubavitcher minhogim. His parents were less than pleased (for some strange reason . .) and tried with every means at their disposal to dissuade him from his errant ways. When they were unsuccessful, they tried to comfort themselves with the thought that he was probably just going through a phase (as teenagers are, in fact, wont to do), and would, in all likelihood, return to his senses in due time.

To their great consternation, not only did his momentary madness not become cured, but he became more and more set in his newfound path, eventually joining a Lubavitcher Yeshiva full time. The parents were devastated by this development, but continued to hope and pray that when he would reach the stage of shidduchim, which was coming up quite soon, he would realize the error of his ways. Deep down they understood that if he would actually plan an marrying a Lubavitcher girl (persish the thought), that would be an indication that the change was irrevocable, and his fate would be sealed.

In the meantime, this bochur did indeed begin to receive suggestions for shiduchim, and, upon receiving the Rebbe’s brocho, began meeting with one. Things developed, and (despite the prayers of his hopeful parents) there was another letter to the Rebbe and . . Mazal Tov! . . he was engaged.

His poor mother was devastated and enraged at what she viewed as his betrayal. She went straight to 770, and – unable to control her anger – went over to her son and delivered him a resounding slap on the face in front of everyone! The bochur did not respond, but his friends, who had witnessed the attack, approached her, saying: ‘what do you want from him? Now he’s a Lubavitcher, and he followed the directives of the Rebbe. If you are upset, you should complain to the Rebbe’.

The woman realized the wisdom of their words, and arranged for herself a yechidus with the Rebbe, during which she expressed her anger at what had occurred. The Rebbe allowed her to finish venting, and then responded simply:

“There is a sefer hashidduchim (in heaven), in which all of the shidduchim are inscribed. When your son asked me if he should meet the girl, I checked and saw that their shidduch is inscribed there, so I gave them my brocho. When they were ready to conclude, I again checked the sefer hashiduchim, and verifying that they were indeed found there, I gave my brocho. What else could I do?”

The woman was overwhelmed, and her mindset was completely reversed. This is someone who has access to the sefer hashiduchim! She now looked at the Rebbe with utmost respect and awe. And she left the room grateful of the fact that her son’s shidduch was verified with the sefer hashiduchim (although, admittedly, prior to the yechidus she had not been aware of it’s existence). (see also sipurei Chassidim on Parshas Ki Sisa, regarding what the Sar Shalom said about the marois hatzoivois).