Difficult Wife

The Baal Shem Tov wanted to perform the mitzvah of serving talmidei chachomim, and he requested of “heaven” that he be informed who are considered the talmidei chachomim of the generation, so that he might fulfill this mitzvah by serving them. The response was that he should choose either R’ Ephraim Ashkenazi, the Pnei Yehoshua, or the author of the Tevuos Shor.

The Baal Shem Tov travelled to Brod, to the abovementioned R’ Ephraim Ashkenazi. This R’ Ephraim suffered from an affliction that made him always feel extremely cold, and means would be sought to attempt to alleviate this. For example, he would be frequently carried to the bath house, where he would seat himself in the hottest part of the shvitz, in order to get some warmth to penetrate his body. [While he was there, no one else was permitted to enter the shvitz, the only exception was R’ Sar Sholom of Belz, who was then a child, and was permitted to be present]. When he returned home from the shvitz, he would drink a very hot drink, to help his body retain the warmth.

When the Besht entered the home of R’ Ephraim, he discovered him covered with many blankets and sheets, in a feeble attempt to keep warm. When the Besht saw this (and in his desire to serve this talmid chochom), he immediately went into the courtyard and collected wood, and got a roaring fire burning on the fireplace. The room warmed up to such a degree, that the gaon R’ Ephraim was able to remove the sheets and blankets, and was even comfortable enough to remove his jacket.

Presently, the rebbetzin of R’ Ephraim came in, and when she noted the extreme heat in the room, she immediately began to scold and berate her husband mercilessly (she was either very intolerant of heat, or, more probably, was very intolerant of her husband being comfortable). When the Besht saw this, he was very upset. Here, he had come for the sole purpose of serving this gaon, and instead he had caused him additional anguish!

When R’ Ephraim noted the pain of the Baal Shem Tov, he comforted him, saying: “Don’t feel bad, sometimes a great benefit can be derived through having a difficult wife, as is illustrated in the following incident that I personally experienced:

[And the gaon went on to relate to the Baal Shem Tov]: “Once I was in heaven, and I witnessed a soul from this world being brought before the heavenly tribunal. The beis din shel maaloh began to examine his deeds, and found much fault, and they began to judge him; ‘why did you commit all of these aveiros?’ ‘why were you lax in your performance of all of these mitzvos?’

The accused, however, continued to maintain his innocence throughout the trial, presenting the same “defense” for each and every charge: ‘it was not my fault, it was all because of my difficult wife!’ ‘This aveiroh was because of my difficult wife!’ ‘These mitzvos, my wife prevented me from fulfilling’,

One malach, a prosecuting angel, stood at the side, and became enraged at this defense, and began to shout at the poor soul: ‘What kind of an excuse is this? Who ever heard of such a thing? Because of a wife you commit sins?! Because of your wife you abstain from mitzvos? This is a totally unacceptable defense, and you are fully responsible for all of your actions!’ [The angel apparently forgot that this defense actually has a very strong precedent, it was originally put forward by Odom Horishon himself!]

“I (R’ Ephraim continued his narrative) was rather upset by the position adopted by the malach, and I challenged him, saying: ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about. Do you have any clue what it means to have a wife, and especially a difficult one? How do you have the nerve to discount this poor soul’s defense when you are completely ignorant about the subject matter?! Your claim is utterly ridiculous!’

The heavenly court concurred with my position, and, with regards to the prosecuting angel, they decreed that he be “demoted”; - he was sent down on a trip to experience what it means to live as a human being on earth. The angel was “born” as a person, who, at the age of 13 was married off to a horrible wife. She harassed him and pestered him and persecuted him until she made him ill. Eventually, the young couple came to me (related R’ Ephraim), as the Rov, to arrange their divorce.

‘Nu’, I said to him, ‘I hope you’ve learned your lesson, and you will never again prosecute against the Jewish people!’

Two more years passed, and the unhappy angel/husband passed away”. This was the remarkable story that R’ Ephraim related to the holy Baal Shem Tov in order to comfort him!